My Faith(less) Story...

I recently had to write down my testimony for the first time. I struggled to make sense of it. In frustration, I said, "God, I thought You would help me with this! Why doesn't it make sense?!?" God showed me I was still hiding an important piece of my life, which He just recently revealed to me. I grudgingly wrote it down and added it to the beginning of what I had already written and, wouldn't ya know, it made sense after that. However, I still wasn't sure why that part was so important to my story; it was tucked away in a dark secret corner of my mind... surely it wasn't important...? When I got up from writing I felt ashamed... I realized I thought I could hide that part of my life, even from God.

The next day, during a Bible study with some of my friends, I felt I should share my testimony with them... to bring it out of hiding and into the light. When I had finished, one of my friends commented, "Your testimony is such proof of God's love for us! Even when we stray again and again (and again), He keeps after us." She really made me stop and think. Had God really been there? Was He there every time I thought I was hidden? Was He there every time I ran away?

I looked up the definition of testimony --- a first hand authentication of a fact, evidence; an outward sign; an open acknowledgement --- of God's love for me... His personal love for me... of my personal experience with Him... of His part in my life.

For days I felt empty. I hadn't realized... I had no idea... He was there all along!...
Oh, He was there all along. 
He sat in my shame with me. He took so much pain from me. He loved me, getting nothing in return... not even acknowledgement.
He was there all along.

I am still unsure how to react to this, how to respond to this kind of love... could it really be true? I asked Him if I could ever push Him to His limits and He said, "My love has no bounds." He has no limits to push! Each day, with each struggle, with each failure, I'm learning this is true. He will not leave me. He is kind and patient and forebearing... and now when I get in a rut, I wait for Him to come. He is showing me more of His love each day (whether I like it or not).

God, I have only brought pain and suffering to You and yet You come to me with love.

Forgive me for not responding to Your love in the way that I should. 

Teach me to love You and others. You are more than I can comprehend. 

Amen!

Rachel Weaver

P.S. Below is a link to a song God has given me... it means more to me each day!

So Here I Sit

You Reap What You Sow

Take a moment to read Sunday's Scripture reading: 2 Corinthians 9:6-8.
If you are not within reach of a Bible, click the Scripture reference to read online.

Rev. Bonnie Osteen began Commitment Sunday by reminding us of our mission statement:

Gather others to Christ.

Grow in faith as disciples.

Give back to God.

Go into the world.

She also reminded us that God doesn't have a complicated giving scale similar to the tax law. He has a flat rate: 100%. We are to give ourselves 100% all day every day, every place, every word spoken, every action taken.

One-hundred percent. Does your heart ache at the thought of giving 100%? Mine does.

My flesh longs to be tightfisted. Even though I know what His Word says, and I know I will reap what I sow, the thought of surrendering all just hurts!

This is the point: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly,

and whoever sows bountifully, will also reap bountifully.

2 Corinthians 9:6 ESV

What causes us to sow sparingly?

Fear?

Laziness?

Doubt?

Cost?

It takes boldness and faith to sow bountifully.

I'm reminded of a vision I had driving into the church parking lot one day. A hand. An open hand with gold coins dropping into it, then overflowing out of the hand. Then I saw the hand close. With a closed hand no more coins could drop in, they just bounced off.

Fear of scarcity, is one of the things that causes us to close our hand, be tightfisted.

But God, He deals bountifully with those who are His and follow His way. There should be no fear when it comes to giving, either as individuals or as a corporate body.

...Your ways overflow with plenty.

Psalm 65:11 HCSB

We each have a choice in our giving: Sparingly... or... Bountifully...

One, most likely, a reaction to fear. The other based on faith.

What kind of sower are you, when it comes to investing in His Kingdom?

And God is able to make all grace abound to you,

so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times,

you may abound in every good work.

2 Corinthians 9:8 ESV

Father God, You have not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.

Remind me that all fear, except fear of You, comes from the enemy.

Fuel my faith to be open-handed and trust Your guidance when it comes to giving:

prayers, time, service, gifts, and my witness.

Carol Weaver

My Faith Story

My faith story... I haven't shared my faith story with many people. It's not one of those long testimonies about how I was headed down the wrong path and God intervened. I'm thankful for that, and I'm always amazed to hear the wonderful and mysterious ways God works. My story is very special when I think about it though and it goes way back in my life.

When I was just seven years old, my brother, who was two years younger, became ill. My mom took him to the doctor that day and they said he had the flu. Later that night, my parents took him to the ER because he was very ill. He had spinal meningitis. I stayed in the car and slept until I was taken to my great-grandmother's house. I woke up early that morning and I thought someone was talking to me. It was a man's voice and He said, "I'm taking him to live with me." Now, I tell you, I had no idea if I had dreamed this or what. I never shared this... I was only seven. Later that morning, my brother passed from this earth to Heaven.

Years went by, but I never forgot those words. I can hear them still today. As my faith grew and I accepted Christ as my Savior, I knew from whom those words came. In January 2007, I woke up around midnight, noticing Todd was awake. In our half-awake conversation, I learned my 36 year-old husband wasn't feeling well, with chest pain, arm pain, nausea, clamminess... Yes, that very same voice clearly said, "He's having a heart attack." Men can be very stubborn, but I finally did convice him to go to the hospital (I think I said, either you go with me or I will call an ambulance to get you!). Yes, he had a heart attack and is doing great today because of His voice.

When God speaks to you, there is no doubt that He's real. You never have to question His existence. It's never been about if I believe. It was only about finding the right place to serve Him. I found that in the choir when John Mark Lester asked me to join him for practice with Jerry Compton. I found that with VBS, Sunday School, and children's music with Stacy Boyer. I found that with the Methodist Readiness School Board with Tina Sorrell. I found that with Wednesday Night Live and the education committee with Barbara Hugghins. I've found that with my "Out of the Boat" family.

Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed

When others say I'll never be enough

And greater is the One living inside of me

Than he who is living in the world.

Brenda Travis

Go Therefore...

Matthew 28:16-20 was the Scripture reading this past Sunday.
Read it now. If you don't have a Bible with you, click the Scripture reference and read it online at BibleGateway.com.

This passage, known as The Great Commission, defines who we are to be as followers of Jesus.

Pastor Bonnie began by asking...

What really matters?

Her answer: We are called to share God's love in an extraordinary way. ...When we roll up our sleeves and do something, that's when people see Jesus.

Jesus's words reveal the ultimate purpose for reaching out, rolling up sleeves, and doing what He calls us to...

"...Go therefore and make disciples..."

Matthew 28:19 ESV

Disciple-making. That's the goal.

Offering compassion and fulfilling needs is the means to an end, not the end in itself. Introducing people to Jesus, who can supply all their needs, is the ultimate reason for reaching out to others.

"...For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world

and forfeit his soul?..." ---Jesus

Mark 8:36 ESV

Pastor Bonnie also shared lyrics from a Matthew West song...

In my own little world, it hardly ever rains.

I've never gone hungry; always felt safe.

I've got money in my pocket, shoes on my feet.

In my own little world, population me...

[Email subscribers: click here to view on YouTube or click the title of the post to view on Growing in Faith at FUMC.] 

How often do we become so entangled in our own little worlds believing we are unable to get involved, reach out, or deny self on behalf of another?

We not only need to be prepared to escape our own little worlds to help others, but to enter into another's world with the express purpose of introducing them to Jesus.

What has He done for you? 

Is it worth sharing with others?

Introducing and encouraging people to walk with Jesus in a way that they reach out to others, sharing what they have received from Him, this is The Great Commission.

Go therefore... and make disciples...

Carol Weaver

Are You Anchored?

I love being on the water, whether it's in a motor boat, kayak, float, or swimming. I think I'm part fish. For me, being around lakes and oceans feeds my soul. They are happy moments and holy moments. I have many happy memories growing up and as an adult, of going to the beach or water skiing.

Just a few years ago, shortly after my ordination, I received a nice boat to take me around Clear Lake for skiing, tubing, and swimming. So, on the first trip out, after cruising around for a while, we decided to stop for a swim. So, I took the brand new rope, and the brand new anchor, and proudly tied one of my best Girl Scout knots, and threw it in. After swimming for a while, one of my daughters said, "Mom, the boat seems to be moving away from us." I told her not to worry, that I had securely tied the anchor to the rope, and it was a long rope. So, a little later, the same daughter said, "Mom, I think our stronger swimmers need to start trying to catch up to the boat, because you don't have a rope THAT long!"

Well, she was right, and it was a good hard swim to 'catch' the boat. Turns out, in my haste and overconfidence, I had forgotten to tie the other end of the rope onto the boat cleat. I had not connected to the anchor.

On that day, and many since, I have thought about how, if we are not connected to our anchor, we are adrift. We may be having a good time, splashing around, but without God as our anchor, and Jesus Christ as our lifeline, we get further and further away from the things that are important as a disciple.

For me, that day and that event were a wow moment, in which my faith walk deepened (or maybe I should say 'my faith swim'), and I remember to stay tied to the anchor. That day was, and is, a defining moment of how, through prayer, scripture and worship, I stay connected to God: and in the process, I stay connected with loving others.

We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul...

Hebrews 6:19 ESV

Did I mention I love being on the water?

Rev. Bonnie Osteen

Are You Growing in Knowledge of Him?

Rev. Bonnie Osteen shared a message from Psalm 139:1-6 this past Sunday.
Take a moment to read the passage now. If you don't have a Bible with you, click the Scripture reference above to read it online at BibleGateway.com.

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!

Psalm 139:1 ESV

God knows everything about us.

Make that statement personal: God knows everything about me!

He is a personal God who understands you better than you do. And He also longs for you and me to know Him.

Pastor Bonnie asked...

What does it mean to grow in the knowledge of Jesus Christ?

I believe growing in the knowledge of Jesus Christ begins with desire. A desire for revelation of Him.

He calls us to search out who He is, digging for knowledge like treasure, mining it out of His Word, prayerfully asking for understanding.

My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you,

making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding;

yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding,

if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures,

then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

Proverbs 2:1-5 ESV

Do you desire to know Him as much as you might desire a treasure?

Are you willing to do the work required to dig, finding small nugget after small nugget of truth, until you have a wealth of knowledge of Jesus?

Wanting to know Him leads to the pursuit of Him through prayer and study of Scripture.

The benefits of knowing Him are infinite... just like Him.

The more we grow in our knowledge of Jesus, the more we know His love. The more we know His love for us, the more we love others.

Our transformation begins when we desire Him.

He knows each one of us perfectly. Perhaps He knows us so well because He loves us so much.

Strive to love Him as well, seek to attain perfect knowledge of Him. 

I believe the more He reveals Himself to you, the more of Him you will want to know.

Are you growing in knowledge of Him?

Maybe it's time we ask Him to grow us to love Him with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength, so we will desire to know Him more.

Carol Weaver

Kinley

I love kiddos. Love mine the most. Next, would have to be my nieces and nephews. As of today, I’ve got 2 of each. On my husband’s side of the family we’ve got our oldest niece, Ronni who just began her second year of college. She is the coolest college kid I know! For real. Much cooler than I was when I was her age. She has two brothers coming up behind her; Dakota, 16 and Layne, 12. I was fortunate enough to visit those boys soon after their births before they ever left the hospital. As you may already know, I grew up watching them grow up. Those three kids were a big part of the reason I knew with such certainty that I wanted to be a mom someday to my own little nuggets.  It just happened to be a bonus that the man I decided to marry was their mom’s brother.  After we had been married for 8 years and completed our own family, my brother Vance and his wife of 3 years gave me another niece; Kinley, 2.  And… later this year in November they will welcome another baby girl!

That little precious sometimes terror of a two year old spent the night over at TT’s house a couple of weeks ago. (TeeTee-that’s me...as in Aun-Tee.)  It’s always a pleasure to have her in our home, but boy-howdy she wears me out! I am a little out of practice with toddlers and the likes of other children who can’t reach the light switches.  I find myself in desperate need of a nap when she leaves, although I’m not sure how that differs from any other day.

Since she was only a few months old she has stayed at our house overnight every now and then. At bedtime, Uncle Jus does the hair brushin’ and TT puts her to bed.  I sometimes rock her, sway and hold her, or just sit and love on her, but I always sing to her.  I’ve always sang songs like You are my Sunshine, This Little Light of Mine, and Jesus Loves Me, but now that she has developed an opinion and can vocalize it she prefers for me to sing BINGO. I’ve never at any point in my life thought of BINGO as a bedtime lullaby, but who can argue with a two year old? So there I go…”There was a farmer had a dog and…”

We sat in my oversized chair in my bedroom that night in the dark.  She lay so nicely with her head on my shoulder and her body draped across mine clutching to “lamby”, her must-have sleep partner. What was perfectly comfortable to me suddenly became uncomfortable to little Kinley. She rolled over, kicked her feet around and flailed her arms trying to find a spot to relax and calm down enough to drift off to sleep. Mind you, all this acrobatic activity is taking place on my chest, belly and lap. What seemed like tens of minutes was more likely two, and she finally settled down and breathed a little deeper. Sounds so sweet and gentle, huh? Um, no. If I weren’t sitting in the dark I might have risked waking her by trying to photo document the scene. She ended up on her back with her ear right next to my ear.  The best way to describe her body position would be the term “spread eagle”.  Her elbow was in my jugular and somehow I still managed to have a “lamby leg” in my mouth. It was one of the most uncomfortable positions to be in, but as mothers and aunties know…you can’t move!

As I sat in the dark being thankful she was there and very thankful she would go home the next day, I had a revelation. ...

Sometimes when we find ourselves most uncomfortable

that’s exactly where we are intended to be.

Years ago I learned that God doesn’t always call us to do things within our comfort zone. In fact, he probably more often calls us to do things we don’t want to do or feel unequipped to do.  I’ve found the joy in answering his call or following his commands can lead you to a place that is almost unbearable with uncertainty and discomfort, but you can stop and know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be…and reap the everlasting benefits from the obedience.

“If you agree and obey, you will eat the best food of the land.”  

Isaiah 1:19

Lacy Matejka

What are You Stirring Up?

The Scripture at the heart of the message this past Sunday was Hebrews 10:24-25. Take time to read it now. No Bible? Click the Scripture reference to read online at BibleGateway.com.

Pastor Bonnie reminded us that the church is where hurting people gather to find encouragement. It should be a place where words spoken build up and not tear down.

I wondered... Do I encourage anyone...?

...let us consider how to stir up one another

to love and good works...

Hebrews 10:24 ESV

Stir up... these words seem a bit out of place. When I think of something being stirred up it's usually bad. Other translations use spur or provoke, both equally intense words.

What we usually stir up with our words come from hearts stirred up with hurt, anger, or bitterness. The words flowing out of such a heart do the same, they cause division and discontent. 

But God's people are called to be peacemakers. We should never air our grievances from a contentious attitude. When we share our stirred up hearts with fellow Believers we should be seeking godly counsel and prayer to take steps toward peace and reconciliation.

If possible, so far as it depends on you,

live peaceably with all.

Romans 12:18 ESV

We know how to stir up trouble, but how do we stir up love and good works?

Consider this week what it looks like to stir up love and good works.

What kind of heart provokes good? and not evil?

What are you currently stirring up when you gather with others? Discontent? Or love?

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,

but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion,

that it may give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:29 ESV

Just some thoughts from Sunday.

Carol Weaver

Uncomfortable

            Uncomfortable.  By definition this word means to feel awkward or uneasy, and this is exactly how God wanted me to feel this week.  No one likes to step outside of their comfort zone — I definitely do not.  We like to stay in our comfortable little bubbles where we feel safe and secure.

            My senior year of high school was spent applying to colleges and making decisions about my future.  I was dead set on going to Stephen F. Austin State University, right down the road from my comfortable hometown. But my mom encouraged me to check out other schools, just in case. Texas A&M was a comfortable choice. We visited the great College Station, Texas, but the large campus completely overwhelmed me, and off the list it went.

            Then my mom suggested Texas Woman’s University. I agreed to visit because I heard it was a great school. But it was three hours from Jacksonville, and who wanted to go to a school that was basically all girls?  Not me. We took the tour, met important people, signed up for programs, and I was hooked on TWU, its beautiful campus and amazingly caring staff.

            In August of 2013, I found myself standing in the parking lot with arms full of pillows, clothes, and decorations. I was ready to step out of my comfort zone and try a completely new place where I did not know a single soul.  Classes started, friendships formed, but I had yet to try a new church.  Church has always been a second home to me. 

            Needless to say, I am very comfortable at First United Methodist Church of Jacksonville.  I never had to experience trying a new church, and I was absolutely terrified. Using every excuse I could think of, I put off going to church Sunday after Sunday. Finally, I worked up the courage to visit a couple of churches my freshman year but neither one worked out. So here I was again, back to the drawing board of where to attend church and to worship our amazing God.

            This year I began attending the Denton Wesley Foundation, a Methodist program for college students, where we worship, do missions, and have fellowship.  I am in love with this foundation, even though it took me awhile to start feeling comfortable here.  There’s that word again, “comfortable,” and along with it came God’s voice calling me to do something I am really uncomfortable doing. 

            Last Tuesday night, during worship a girl shared her faith journey as the devotional.  She finished by saying the devotional time was open to anyone who felt called to share a little of their faith journey during worship.  That is when it happened. God filled my head with His voice, “You are going to speak and share your faith story, and you are going to sign up right after worship, because if you don’t you are going to make excuses why you shouldn’t have to speak.  Oh, and you are going to talk about being uncomfortable.” 

            I was finally feeling comfortable in my new place of worship and in my faith, and God stepped in, telling me I could not just be “comfortable” anymore.  When God calls us to do something for Him, we are not always going to be comfortable with it.  He called me to step out of my comfort zone by attending a school three hours from my comfortable home, by trying a new place of worship, and speaking in front of a group of people I barely know.  I am still working on exercising this new concept of being uncomfortable and following God through anything.

            Thinking about being uncomfortable, the story of Peter walking on water comes to mind.  In the middle of a relentless storm, Jesus called Peter to walk on the water to Him.  Peter was not comfortable getting out of the boat, but His faith was bigger than his discomfort, if just for a second (Matthew 14:22-33).  Abraham was definitely uncomfortable sacrificing his only son for God, but he stepped out and followed what God said (Genesis 22:1-14).  The biggest story of discomfort, though, is the story of the crucifixion. Jesus was not comfortable dying on the cross, in fact He begged God in the garden to change His mind (Luke 22:39-44). 

            I believe God wants us to be uncomfortable in our faith, taking steps outside of our comfort zone to learn more about Him and maybe teach a few others about him, as well.  God is telling me that to be comfortable is to be stagnant, and to not be taking steps forward to know Him better or to learn more about Him.  By practicing being uncomfortable, in just the passed few days I have learned so much about my faith, my life, and my amazing God. 

Ronni Boyer

Stepping Down

This past Sunday, Rev. Bonnie Osteen's sermon came from Philippians 2:1-13. Take time to read the passage now. If you don't have a Bible within reach, click the Scripture reference to read online.

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ,

if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit,

if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete

by being like-minded, having the same love,

being one in spirit and purpose.

Philippians 2:1-2 NIV84

Do you have any encouragement from being united with Christ?

Any comfort from His love? Fellowship with the Spirit?

Tenderness? Compassion?

What do you experience from your relationship with Christ?

Whatever we experience in Him, we are to share with others.

I think about what I've received and how I came to be walking the Way with Him.

My faith journey began with my mom expressing the comfort she received from Him as she lay suffering from a fatal disease: I trust. I trust. The comfort He gave her comforted me. From that moment, my heart was captured by this God who makes Himself manifest in the darkest times through comfort, love, tenderness and compassion.

Walking His Way has been a journey I could never have anticipated. But the most striking truth, is that the way up is down.

...Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God...

made himself nothing... and became obedient to death ---

even death on a cross!

Philippians 2:5-8 NIV84

Your attitude should be the same....

Pastor Bonnie talked about step by step faith. Growing in our connection with Christ by giving Him top priority in our lives.

This means we have to begin to put ourselves second. He's first, and we take a step down in our place of importance.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility

consider others better than yourselves.

Philippians 1:3 NIV84

The more we become like Him, the less we think of ourselves. The less we think about ourselves the more we think about others. The less we think of self, the more we are willing to stoop down and suffer on behalf of another. With each individual's step down, an entire community can come to unity in Him.

In stepping down from self, we become more like Him, and more able and willing to love others. Ultimately, stepping down leads to finding comfort even in the shadow of death because our focus is on Him not self.

...continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling... 

Stepping down... trusting Him...

Carol Weaver